Open Letter to Offended Yale Students: Your micro-diaper-bursts are killing education

Since I am on the Open Letter kick, this issue, which was pointed out by my friend Trey McCain, deserves attention. Do not blame Trey for the post below, which are my own satirical responses to our silly world. The following Open Letter is all my fault – well Mikhail Bakhtin, François Rabelais and all my study for Burning Religion  are partly to blame.

Dear Yale students,

You, who were offended by Erika Christakis’ open letter to the students about proper responses to Halloween costumes; you, who spat in the faces of attenders at the freedom of speech conference over a quote by Greg Lukianoff; you, who call yourselves students of higher learning, but have ended up being intolerant protestors and students of adolescent emotions: we the people, who want to be able to peacefully and in friendly manner debate real issues call you to account. Enough of these tyrannical DeTocquevillian inversions!

Paraphrasing the out of control student who could not hold a normal conversation with Erika’s husband, “Who the f… gave you the position of being a student of higher learning! If that’s what you think it is to get a masters degree, you should step down!”

For the hundreds of you who signed the open letter to Erika Christakis, unless you grow up and learn to discuss hard issues without making a stink, we never want to see you in a political office; we never want to see you being hired to manage Human Resources; we never want to see you handling tense diplomatic situations; we never want you to become lawyers, psychologists, doctors priests, or law enforcement officers;  and we certainly never want you to teach our kids, because mamas everywhere want their kids to grow up to be cowboys if their kids want to be cowboys, and to do so without being accused of being killers or oppressors.

We want our children to be ready for a tough world, and able to interact positively with people with whom they disagree. We do not want them to explode in trauma and create nuclear fecal war under the intestinal pressure of micro-offenses. We want our college professors to teach without adult students exploding in their diapers while a fearful school wipes up the mess and pretentiously apologizes for creating the stink. Please, do not continue to make your micro-panty-bursts everyone else’s stinky mess. Please become part of a solution for a better world instead of a new form of bullying utilizing your own crap as a weapon.

For your consideration,
People in the US who care about higher learning, well, and me (Phil Wyman)

You can sign this by simply responding below with an amen, or you can also argue with me, because that is what this site (and the book Burning Religion) is all about – learning to cross the divides of disagreement using carnivalesque methods. (For the record: I’ve taken it on the chin more than most people for defending minority positions, and I’ve got the excommunication papers to prove it.)

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